How do we set house rules when our adult child lives at home?

What can house rules cover?

Keep the list short. Guests, quiet hours, shared spaces, and what happens if a rule breaks are enough to start.

Review the list when your loved one is stable. A talk during a crisis rarely sticks.

What should you do next?

1. Write the rules together, if your loved one can join the talk. Post the list where everyone can see it.
2. Know the legal side.

   Even without rent, your adult child may have tenant rights. Changing the locks or putting their things outside is illegal in every state below. If they will not leave, a court has to decide.

   • Illinois: You give written notice first. If they stay, a judge's order and the sheriff are required.
   • Wisconsin: Give at least 28 days' written notice. After that, you would need an eviction case in court.
   • DC: Every removal needs a court order. Free help: 202-780-2575.
   • Maryland: Give written notice. Then file a "tenant holding over" case in District Court. Notice length depends on the situation. See Maryland's tenancy rules.
   • Virginia: Give written notice. Then file an eviction case in General District Court. Legal aid: 866-534-5243.

   This is general information, not legal advice. A local legal aid office can help with your situation.

   If anyone is in danger, call 911. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988.

3. If your loved one lives in your home and pays a fair share of shelter costs, write a room and board agreement, not a lease. A lease is usually for their own place, and house rules stay separate from that payment agreement. See the room and board guide.

Where can you find programs in your state?

Housing programs and tenant rules differ by state. See your state for programs and where to start.